Do you tend to give people the benefit of the doubt when they first show you who they really are?
You could swear you hear bells and whistles, but they couldn’t mean what they actually do. Could they?
Still, some of us have to hear them time and time again before we are ready to let toxic people go!
Come on Sparky Jen.
Not him. Not her. Not them.
I’ve been there too OK.
I feel you!
Nothing is sadder than the death of an illusion. It’s often hard to ask ourselves if we ever really know a person.
We are shown. We are told. We get the deep down feeling that the person we thought we knew is not that person.
Because what it all boils down to is this…
When I was growing up, my beloved Mother used to always say: “Good looks don’t mask true ugly!”
I know now she was trying to prepare me for the hurt I would feel when I was “dissed” by someone.
She had noticed that I tended to choose my friends by their looks, especially my boyfriends.
She knew I would more than likely get hurt more than once using this strategy.
Helen Ruth was right!
I was blind as a bat to every other sense I had when it came to being more discerning about folks.
My thought was that I wouldn’t do hurtful things to other people, so why would they do them to me?
She wanted me to realize early, that looks may change, but behaviors rarely if ever do.
Do you ever feel challenged by the strategies you use?
Then, today may be a good day to jump back and trust yourself more than then you trust some of the people you are allowing to remain in your life.
The question you should ask yourself is this: Are they really putting one over on you, or do you simply fail to believe them, the first time?
Why is the “first time” usually not enough for some of us?
We just don’t get it, see it clearly, feel it badly, hear it loudly…enough!
A good rule of thumb might be to watch how people treat other supposedly important people in their lives…never forgetting that you could potentially be falling headlong into this category as well.
Once you choose to believe what people show you, you then get to make a more informed decision about current, AND please please please future relationship choices too.
Are the things they are showing you, things you want from this person [or any person] in your life?
It’s easy to make excuses for them when you do not like what you see.
They are having a rough day, they are busy or perhaps you are making too big a deal out of it.
When you refuse to really see what is being shown to you, you are resisting what is.
You do not have to like or condone what you see, but you do have to accept it.
It is this lack of acceptance…
To which I believe Dr. Angelou was referring!
By not clinging for dear life to the illusion of how you would like the person to be, and instead paying closer attention to those
which should be alerting you to what people are really showing you – [huffing and puffing from friendly reiteration]…
You can begin surrounding yourself with the kinds of people you do want in your life.
The First Time!!!
I suppose what it all boils down to is what you have to lose
What you have to gain.
How keen are your