First…We must decide what love feels like?
Second… What does feeling loved mean to us?
Third, What does feeling loved do for us?
I imagine not feeling loved would be horrible, and pretty scary too.
No clowning around, right?!
I mean living in a world made up of billions of people, and not feeling loved?
I recently read an article posted on the Psychology Today website.
*The seven types of love discussed below are loosely based on classical readings, especially of Plato and Aristotle, and on J.A. Lee’s 1973 book Colours of Love.*
- Eros – sexual or passionate love
- Philia – friendship, shared goodwill
- Storge – familial love, love between parents and their children
- Agape – universal love, love for strangers, nature, or God
- Ludus – playful or uncommitted love
- Pragma – practical love, founded on reason and duty
- Philautia – self-love, which can be healthy or unhealthy
For me personally, I believe that love is all there is.
I would find it a bit unsettling not to find comfort in all or at least 3 of these love categories.
Which 3 or more do you choose?
I’m an avid fan of “unconditional” love, which is how I love my family and friends.
Even my most hard to reach friends and relatives respond in kind to this type of love.
Being surrendered at birth, and not being legally adopted until adulthood taught me that loving my self was a safe bet. It still is today!
It made me feel safe and cocooned. If I didn’t have anyone else to love me, I would always have myself.
Once upon a time ago, I worried that my son didn’t love me.
I came to this bozo conclusion because he seemed to do things that I strongly disapproved of.
How could he love me while thwarting my parenting advice at every turn?
Thankfully, a good male friend helped me to understand that I saw horror where there wasn’t any.
My son just did what most young boys do, and this had little or nothing to do with how he felt about me, his mother.
I have a girlfriend that in my opinion lives a horrible existence.
She believes that her husband couldn’t possibly love her because he shows her little overt affection.
Yet, he has taken the very best care of her for over 20 years, and she has stayed.
He can’t say what she wants to hear on a regular basis, or touch her in ways that make her feel loved the way she believes he should.
She can explain to me what love means to her, but has never been able to communicate this to him, who by the way seems to be a very nice guy, otherwise.
I have a late guy friend who always went after people who didn’t appear to give a rat’s ass about him, while almost totally overlooking the throngs of people who dearly loved, respected, and admired him. Go figure!
Taking away the horror, what ideally are your feelings about love?
Which of the 7 types of love do you most relate to?
How scary is it for you when you aren’t feeling particularly loved?
Do you lean on loving yourself first, or do you crave love from others most often than not?