There is a time & a place for everything. Or is there?
What about fussing and fighting with people we’re supposed to care about, even love?
WHEN ISN’T THE TIME FOR THIS?
- While you’re in a moving vehicle
D-a-n-g-e-r-o-u-s is putting it mildly. You’re driving or they are. Some messy business starts slow, but quickly escalates. Not only are buttons being pushed, so is the gas pedal.
Heads gyrate. There’s either too much looking over, or looking back. The volume in the vehicle has now risen to a feverish pitch. The road ahead is no longer the priority.
- Sitting around the dinner table
The table is set. Glasses and utensils are placed to the right, some to the left. The meal looks and smells delicious. The scenes all set. Prayer may or may not be said. Bowls of hot food are systematically passed. Forks raise for a single bite.
At first the perfunctory dialogue is tossed around like a salad. Then it happens. Drama unfolds. If there were candles, one by one, they would begin to blow out.
Digestion is almost impossible. Voices crack. Hunger escapes. Spit flies, and so do words. You hope that’s all. This meal is over before it begins!
- Going for it while under the influence
Your brain is concentrating on soaking up the alcohol, not controlling your impulse to vent. Your frontal cortex has thrown “nice-ness” to the four winds. You have something to say and the breathalyzing courage to say it.
So what if you don’t remember what you said or did tomorrow? So what indeed.
- When a significant other first walks in the door after a long day
Right off the bat, you have an unfair advantage. You’ve been chewing on whatever this is for however long, and your significant other hasn’t.
They couldn’t possibly get on board this quick, or initially keep up. But trust me, emotions are formidable opponents, not to mention quick study’s.
The switch from where they were, and where your ambush will take them is lightening quick.
- Out in public
You’ve seen it before. Someone isn’t getting their way, or someone thought it would be nice to air their dirty laundry in a crowd of people. Whispering didn’t make this talent show. Oh no, but body language does.
Soon, this very public altercation is off and running. There may be tears. There may be intervention. They’ll definitely be embarrassment. The memory will stick around well after.
- When your attempting to rekindle your relationship status
It’s never easy to fix what’s broken in a relationship, unless you’re willing to pull up the rug.
I still believe it can be done if you don’t keep bringing up old stuff, when there’s new stuff [that might not even be stuff] to be handled.
Infact, letting go of the old stuff is best, instead of wedging it in to make your point cushy. It probably has nothing to do with where you are now anyway.
It certainly puts a damper on where you claim you want to be, which is higher ground.
I promise it won’t help to rekindle anything!
I can never understand how someone could use the wrong time and the wrong place to do one of the most volatile things imaginable…jumping down somebody’s throat.
It’s not like I’ve never done it, because I have.
By and by, I’ve learned how to temper my emotions, and realize that there is a time and a place for everything, especially holding my tongue.
I also had to decide where I thought I wanted all my fussing and fighting to end up. And I had to do this BEFORE I got into another tiff.
Truth be told, I’m still a work in progress.
We humans are going to get into it once in a while. Like most things in life, there’s a way to go about it.
I just hope we can all learn to do it safely and sanely.